...after the 'wedding'

Now that I've been carrying the Mrs. title for a few weeks, I figure it's time to post and update... write about my wifey life.

I should talk about the "wedding" before I blog about what it's like to be married :). Well, initially Jose and I weren't planning a wedding. We were planning on just signing the legal documents, but then we discovered a few things. 1. Jose's dad wanted to be at our wedding ceremony, even though we weren't actually planning one and 2. I was told that you can't just "sign the papers" you actually have to get married before a judge. Hmm...well the idea of getting married in a courthouse before a judge wasn't very appealing to me or Jose, and we also wanted to make sure both our families were happy with our decision in how we were going to get married. Thankfully, we already had their approval to wed, but how we did it was another story. To make a long story short, there was a lot of running around the 2 weeks before we actually married before a minister in the cutest spot here in Austin, The French Legation. Things on my to-do list: I had to find a dress that fit, I had to find a minister, Jose and I had to figure out where the ceremony was going to take place, and where our families would gather to eat/meet after the wedding...it was stressful. Somehow everything fell into place! The minister was available the day we wanted him, and he ended up being a really wonderful one at that. Jose read about the French Legation online, and Jose was even the one to find a little place online where I could order my affordable but very wedding-like dress! Here are a couple of added bonuses/blessings that came with the wedding: Jose's dad's friend owns a flower shop and he donated about 15 lovely, Christmasy rose arrangements that were beyond beautiful, and right after our ceremony the minister told Jose and I that the actual ceremony was his gift to us...wasn't that nice of him?

The reason why Jose and I weren't initially planning a wedding was because we couldn't afford it. We wanted something simple and affordable...in the end, we were blessed and received a lot more than we ever expected. The wedding was memorable, and now that I look back, I'm thankful that things unfolded the way they did. The thing I'm most grateful for are the vows we got to exchange and even write! That wouldn't have happened had we married in the courthouse. Even though there was some stress in the planning that led up to the wedding, the wedding itself was peaceful and one-of-a-kind, what more could we want?

Things haven't changed much between Jose and I since we tied the knot. Maybe it's because we saw ourselves as married before the wedding even took place? As I've blogged about before, we've been through so much together already that our previous experiences have glued us together emotionally, making us stronger as a unit and even as individuals.

Sometimes I feel people lose site of themselves when they first get married or are in a serious relationship. I think I let that happen to me a little when Jose and I first started dating. I believe it's natural, to a certain degree, in the sense that you want to be with that person often. We only got to see each other on the weekends and between classes when our relationship first started, but I was always thinking about him and feeling way too sappy for my own good. Thankfully, he was the same way :D. Over time, though, as our relationship grew more secure, we realized that sometimes it's just knowing that you have someone to love that much is enough.

I think that occurred to me the most when Jose started studying for the LSAT, then taking up a job while taking a full load of classes last semester. I had more free time than he did since I was out of school already, so I took up new hobbies and discovered new things about myself. I think our relationship is better now as a result. In a sense, I've become more grounded in who I am, and even more well-rounded. Jose and I are quite different as far as are interests go, but our differences work because we always make sure to keep each other informed; we let each other into our different worlds, as cheesy as that sounds. He doesn't necessarily like to cook as much as I do, but he loves to eat what I make. I don't read the Economist or browse health articles nearly as much as he does, but I love learning about new things, so he's always there to enlighten me. He's only taking two classes this semester, but we're both working, so usually we just have the evenings and weekends to get caught up...but it's stable and strong. I know I keep using that last word, but that's exactly what comes to mind when I think of how our relationship has developed over the last couple of years.

The cool thing about being married is that we're both young, and even though we have a pretty good idea of who we are as individuals, we still have so much ahead of us. Our careers aren't established quite yet, we're still in that in-between phase but we're almost there, and it seems we're getting there faster because we have each other. Jose's heard back from a few noteworthy law schools already, and any day now we hope to hear back from the couple of "dream" schools he applied to...luckily, Jose's the type of person that usually gets what he works for. Why does this happen? There are a few reasons, here's one of them: When most people would consider something an impossibility and therefore never try for it, he doesn't even think of giving up after starting what others didn't even consider beginning. This is a quality that's made him not only a good student, but also a loving husband.

It's just a matter of time (very little time) before we figure out where we'll be living this time next year. It seems like we're always waiting for something good to happen, thankfully our patience usually pays off :).

It's almost Christmas!

Well...we still have quite a way to go, but it's close enough for me! I've been pretty busy lately, haven't had the time to blog...still, I've wanted to blog about so many things. Now that I actually have the time to sit and blog, I can't really remember what it is I've wanted to blog about...I guess I'm getting old, this is a sign, isn't it?

I know, that's completely not the case, but it does feel sometimes that life is just flying by and it definitely didn't seem that way when I was a lot younger, when I thought I'd never be old enough to stay up past 9pm (when I was sure all the magic began for everyone over age 8). Now it's about a quarter to 9, depending on whether or not you've changed your clock an hour back...and there appears to be no sign of magic brewing anywhere around here, but I think it's because I'm just getting used to the blissful feeling that comes with being blessed with way too many things to count. Lately it seems it doesn't matter if it's after 9 or not, life is still pretty wonderful, thank God for that.

That wasn't the case this time last year, when I was having a lot of issues with my gut; we weren't sure what was wrong, until the doctor finally figured out it was my gallbladder. As I reflect back on all of this past year's tough times, I can't help but have even more hope for things to come.

Ahh...I feel a blog entry coming on now:
Today, Jose and I took a walk around a really nice neighborhood here in Austin. There was a peaceful breeze, along with a ton of wonderfully autumn-colored leaves scattered on people's front yards, and it was quiet and calm. I didn't feel any physical pain, I could walk down the street without any worry that I might be in any kind of danger, and I knew that when we were done with our walk, I'd be able to go home. Home. That word has gained a new kind of meaning for me ever since Jose and I moved into our new apartment this past summer. It's literally a safe haven, something I've always wanted, and it's not just the cute vintage furniture and decorations that make it feel that way. This new home of mine is a place I've come to associate with the kind of peace I thought could only be experienced internally, in the humanly uninhabited places of our souls where only God resides when we've allowed ourselves to accept his love. But you know, literally speaking, this isn't even a home we're living in...it's an apartment, and here's where the analogy comes in: This is just one of the first big steps in life--moving into the first apartment--and yet it already feels like a home to me. I know this is a blessing because I think that not very many people at this age feel as if their lives are full; it's like they're waiting for something, but they don't know what they're waiting for, or what to do with themselves while they're waiting. There's usually so much uncertainty that usually leads to insecurity and overall unhappiness.

These days, for me, there's always something to come home to. Even if there isn't anything made for dinner yet, or the air conditioner is broken, among other things...I can know that at least I'm not emotionally starving and that I'm still in one piece, not broken at all, thanks to the one thing I can be certain of--the certainty of being loved. I hope everyone can go home for Christmas.

Cooking adventures, life's fun surprises, and giving thanks

I am so excited at how nice the weather has been lately; it's not exactly the typical fall weather we've been experiencing, but it's close enough for Texas! I love waking up early in the morning and opening all the windows of my lovely apartment; I can't believe I'm actually able to do this now. Oh how I've missed fresh air that's far from suffocatingly hot and disgustingly humid! I love how there's a carpet of crispy, colorful leaves leading up to the doorstep of my apartment! But most of all, I love how, right after Halloween, stores will start stocking up on Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations! I can't help it, I'm definitely a tiny bit happier during the Autumn and Winter months. You know what else excites me? The idea of being in a completely different section of the US this time next year! It's ridiculous how long I've wanted to live on the East Coast, and I'm thrilled that it's actually going to be a reality very, very soon!

I'm very thankful with how things have been going lately. Of course, life is never perfect, but I definitely feel like I can handle its little imperfections a lot better now than I could before. A big part of it has to do with the fact that I'm actually able to get out of the house a lot more. Sure, I definitely have my moments when I prefer to be indoors, but I notice that I'm a lot happier when I can interact with the world, at least for a couple of hours--and lets not forget my love for nature, trees, and sunshine; I even notice I feel better when I have the windows open, this is why I'm glad that it's actually been cool enough lately to be able to do that.

And the cooking adventures! There have been a lot of those...and in the future, there will probably be even more, especially since I'm actually cooking for a family now! It's like a little job of mine to be the personal "chef/cook" gal for this family I recently met through the school where I work on Tues/Thurs. I know it's just a tiny step, but I really do feel like this "culinary dream" of mine is coming to life a bit more as a result of this occurrence; it's like I can actually picture myself a caterer and restaurant owner. Even if I'm unable to attend culinary art school in the future, I don't see why those things still couldn't happen if they're already starting to, slowly but surely, become part of my reality...yes, very slowly...slow enough for me to really understand the science behind both cooking and baking...

Which reminds me, I've been planning on getting some books on cake/cookie decorating. You know, I always hear people say that "chefs don't bake" and that it's not possible to be a good baker and cook, but I don't buy it. I personally enjoy cooking and baking for different reasons. I do have to admit, most of the time when I bake, I'm so fixated on trying to make something quick enough to satisfy my impatient sweet tooth that I often overlook the aesthetic aspects of baking...you know, the decorating part. I focus more on trying to make it tasty rather than pretty, but I want that to change. I don't see why I have to sacrifice one for the other in that department either. Also, I feel like most of my food is "practical" in the sense that it's not new and creative, well, most of it isn't. The actual recipe might be creative in that it uses unique ingredients, but I would really love to incorporate flavors from different countries. I'd see this pursuit as something resembling painting--mixing different colors together, or flavors in this case, to get an amazing shade that'll effortlessly make the painted image pop out of its lifeless and confining canvas. I realize trying new foods will probably be the best way to do that, taste buds do make for a great palate, but we'll see how it happens...this should be interesting considering my demonic digestive system. Ah, so many obstacles to overcome, but this one is a cinch compared to all the other ones I've faced!

So if you see me around any time soon, I'll probably have an apron on. Ha. No, no. I'll probably just have a couple of oddly shaped fingernails. What? You ask. Yep, you read right. This is kind of grunny (aka funny and gross united to make a word I'm probably too embarrassed to use in real life but have enough guts to use in my blog because it won't be associated with my overly-dorky minnie mouse voice.): The other day I was cooking and noticed a piece of my nail was missing, it definitely looked as if a knife had severed it at an awkward angle...I have a feeling it ended up in our dinner...YUMMY! Hey McDonald's has their secret sauce, so I guess that makes us all entitled to our own little special ingredient, whatever it may be.

my world gets an occasional but very welcomed snowfall

Even though my glass looks cloudy on the outside (from the dirty fingeprints left by my hand that's usually been clutching the glass much too tightly in fear of dropping it), I always try to look at it half full instead of half empty. Of course, that's not always easy. But here's what came to mind this morning after finding out a little bit of good news that definitely brightened my day...

I've often thought about how it seems so many good people suffer the most, they get more than their share of burdens and heartache in life. It didn't seem fair to me, especially after seeing people I love go through more than just a few difficult situations. I wondered that if God really promised to protect his children, then why would he allow them to suffer so much, especially if they were leading meaningful and godly lives. In my younger years my grandmother would even tell me that we each had our own little guardian angel there by our side, and I loved that idea so much that I held onto it. To this day, I don't doubt that there are supernatural beings under God's authority protecting us, and I still believe that miracles happen on a daily basis. Even if they are as invisible to us as the face of God himself, they still impact our lives greatly, sometimes they are even the reasons why we are alive.

I've experienced my own miracles in life, and what's recently occurred to me is that I don't know if I could've experienced them in the same way had my life been easy from day one. But like every other human being, I do get tired of challenges; sometimes it seems like I want a life that's more like Candy Land instead of Trouble. Still, I also realize that it is easier for a couple of snowflakes to stand out among a murky field of dirt cakes than a blanketed field of flowers, if you catch my drift. If you're from Texas, and you've traveled to places where people actually have a white Christmas, then you know how much more excited Texans become when they're blessed with a day filled with an interesting mix of snow/sleet than those who take part in shoveling huge piles of snow on a daily basis (at least during the winter months, it isn't such a blessing to the latter group). But I guess when you're in a state, literally and figuratively, that usually resembles Hades, at least temperature-wise, then snow really is a blessing when the Cold Miser stops by for a brief visit.

So on days like this I celebrate. It's gonna be hot again, but my own little world got a tiny smidgen of snow today. It turns out one of the medical bills I thought I had to pay is actually going to be covered in-full by the billing department itself, since my insurance refused to pay what I initially thought they were going to; it's a complicated story, but here's the interesting thing... Even though for a while I had the extra burden of having to worry about another bill, if I never had that temporary disturbance, I wouldn't have been able to experience that slight tinge of happiness after discovering my balance on the bill would be brought down to $0. I would've just gone on with my life and missed out on a little blessing that originally started out as a burden. These are the things I need in my life to make me a thankful person.

You know, now that I think about it, I'm glad my life isn't like Candy Land. After awhile, I'd have a mouth empty of any teeth or full of cavities. I wouldn't appreciate life's sweet moments that seem to come along right after the more bitter ones. I'm glad my life is this way, it's like a dish I developed a taste for after realizing its complicated flavors actually do complement each other quite nicely while they enhance the overall eating experience. I always find a way to make food analogies, it seems :). But yeah, I don't like bland food so why would I want my life to be that way?

hungry but full

Life does funny things to you. Right when you think it's smooth sailing, that the rough winds have died down enough for you to not get sea sick...the waves start getting a little crazy again and you begin to wonder if the grotesque shade of green your face is turning matches the seaweed being heaved onto the deck of your recently polished boat. You know it's gonna be more than a three hour tour, far more than what you and Skipper bargained for.

So, this is how it is right now for me. It's been an incredibly rough week, but I'm determined to try to stay as "normal" as possible, continuing to busy myself with the things I love, especially cooking--even if I can't ingest the food I make. What irony, hu? The girl who wants to have her own restaurant one day, and possibly go to culinary art school, has pretty significant digestive problems that seem to be getting worse as of late (though I am thankful that up until this week, things seemed to be settling down....I guess it was just too boring for my body). It seems even cream of rice made with water and a pinch of sugar and cinnamon is too much for my disturbed stomach, it's quite pathetic and frustrating, considering how much I love food. It seems we actually have a love-hate relationship, but most of the time I tend to be in deep denial over the "hate" aspect of it.

Oh yes, I think my footprints are deeply embedded on the carpeted path leading from my bed to the lovely toilet room. And those fab all-night stomach stabbing-cramping sessions are back again, hopefully only for a short (but very unwelcomed) visit. I really do need this blog to vent, I don't want to mix what I love (i.e., cooking, poetry, and even music) with my not-so-happy bloggings, but, hey, I try to be realistic, I can't even stay unhappy for too long, it's "un-Sophie". I just wish I could divide things up that easily in real life...like, maybe I could convince my body to only get sick on days when it's too hot or even too rainy to do much else, and it would be quite wonderful if I could orchestrate my stomachaches around my work schedule, but life is holding the bulletin board of Sophie's activities, and my body is too darn weak to speak up and say NO, getting sick really is a waste of time, not to mention depressing, so lets focus on something more productive!

So even though there's still the medical bills to pay off from my past surgery, and college debt I can't forget about...at least I actually got my degree, and thank God I didn't have to sit around with a sick gallbladder, just waiting for my liver or pancreas to start malfunctioning. What else? At least I can still cook...and even if I can't eat it, I'm thankful it makes someone's day; Jose gets a kick out of trying something that came out of my at-home experiment lab, aka kitchen. And when I'm staring at the ceiling late at night, feeling like I'm the only one with gut-wrenching pain, I realize that I still have my entire life ahead of me. This isn't a fatal situation I'm in and God has already blessed me far more than I expected to be blessed at this point in my life. Who can forget this ultimate sustaining blessing--my sanity keeper--love. I have plenty of it, and even though my empty stomach might be craving a juicy steak which, upon its consumption, would definitely open the door for me to get a "thank you for being our #1 customer" call from a Charmin sales representative....I know my heart is full and quite satisfied.

So, yeah, I might feel like I'm the only 20 something year old with a 90 year old digestive system, but at least I know that what I have is meaningful and lasting. Sometimes I think I wouldn't have been able to figure it out on my own, all these obstacles have definitely opened my eyes. For instance, I don't know how many girls my age can say that their fiance has been there with them "in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad."

It seems marital vows are quite easy to recite for anyone wearing the fanciest dress/tuxedo they'll probably ever own, but it appears those vows lose their significance once the "special" occasion is over; they get hidden in the closet and start to yellow like the once white wedding dress. The only gown Jose has ever seen me in is a hospital gown, and as far as I'm concerned, it actually holds more symbolic meaning and significance to me than any wedding dress ever could. And how do I know I'm with the right person and that I do have a groovy kind of love, even if Phil Collins already said he had it first? Because Jose's already done far more for me than what the average husband ever has to do for his wife, and, also, he's not doing it just because he vowed to, though it is evident that in his heart he's just as dedicated as if he did.

Farmers Market Fun

Jose and I went to the Sunset Valley Farmers Market today, it was sooo hot outside though! It was fun going to see what all the local farmers/business folk were selling, even if some things were a little on the pricy side, like Jose's $3.00 chai tea...but we did pick up some worthwhile items that will definitely serve as lively ingredients in a few of this week's dinners. There were so many different herbs to choose from; I decided to buy a little bit of basil, sage, and oregano. I also came across a farmer who was selling these tiny garlics with a very powerful, almost sweet scent. In spite of their little size, their smell was a lot more potent than that of the much larger garlic cloves I normally buy at the grocery store. I can't wait to use them, even the herbs. I notice a significant difference in taste when using fresh as opposed to dry herbs, and I hope to eventually start my own herb garden, but that probably won't be for awhile. For now, I'm happy with the occasional visit to the farmers market, and here are a few pictures from this weekend's herb-buying-and-spotted-pig-spotting adventure :


These are some of the things I bought. I love the fresh flowers in a can idea, it's cheap and a cute paradox. Oh yeah, that may look like a munchkin bell pepper, but, apparently, it's a cross between a chili and red bell...I think jalapeño? Can't remember. And those are the mini garlics with a loud bark (click on the pic for a better look).


I love these flowers:


my new spotted friend without fur, the spots are my fav:

My worst hospital experience. EVER!

Jose sent a few others and me an article that talks about the key issues to keep in mind when deciding whether or not to fire your doctor. Thankfully, I haven't had too many bad doctor experiences. Though there have been those few doctors that seemed to not really care about what I had to say...I've only once had a really bad experience at a hospital. I won't mention the name, but I will say it was located in South Austin; if you're from around here, you probably know the place I'm referring to.

Anyway, I went there twice this year. The first time wasn't actually bad at all; it was the time I was sent to ER by a general practitioner who thought I had pancreatitis, right before I had my gallbladder removed. Anyway, that visit, like I said, went really well--other than the fact I was sick. It could be that the people who work during the day are a lot more knowledgeable and respectable than those who work during the late night hours? Who knows. The second time around wasn't so pleasant, it was the night following my gallbladder removal. I went to ER because I had the worst stomach pain in the world, it was literally so bad that two shots of demerol still didn't cut it (it has morphine-like pain killing properties)--in fact, it just made the agony of it all so much worse because I had an allergic reaction to the medication, so I was ridiculously itchy; I felt like I was going to scratch my face off.

Anyway, the first unpleasant experience came when the nurse was injecting me with demerol the first time around that night. Jose was right next to me and he told him (the nurse) that when I had a similar, strong pain medicine before, the nurse injected me slowly because it gave me a huge migraine type headache the first time. Well, this nurse said it wouldn't make a difference if he did it fast or slow (but the nurse before said it did)...hell yeah it did, I could feel it! In fact, that's why the nurse from the prior time injected me with the medication slow, because the first time she did it, I was writhing in pain, I thought my head was going to explode. Well, during this hospital visit, the jerk of a nurse did it fast, even Jose got upset because he was actually the one to tell the nurse to do it slow; Jose knew I was in pain because of how hard I was squeezing his hand. Tears seriously came to my eyes; don't ever have them inject you with a quick, huge dose of demerol, it leaves you feeling pretty disgusting in the process! Needless to say, this nurse actually did do it slower the second time he injected me--but even though I told him I couldn't stop itching from the first injection, he went ahead and gave me another hit. AND guess what? I later discovered that I was actually having an allergic reaction to the medication (aka the itching)! What a nut.

That's not the worst part about it. They had to do a CAT scan of my digestive system, to make sure my liver wasn't damaged, because sometimes that can cause the kind of pain I was experiencing. So, after not being able to eat after the surgery, and this was the doctor's orders, a nurse said I needed to drink a pint of this contrast solution that would make my innards pretty much "light up" for the CAT scan. I did it, though it did take me awhile, considering I felt like my insides were having problems even when they were empty. Still, while I was slowly drinking this solution, the nurse came in and told me I needed to hurry up, otherwise it would wear off. I told her OK, then I asked how much time I would have to finish it but SHE DIDN'T TELL ME! Next thing I knew, another horrible medical assistant with a lovely ghetto attitude came in with an evil grin plastered on a face and a tube in hand, then she said she was going to insert that tube down my nose if I didn't finish the remaining drink right then and there! She then walked closer to me as if she was preparing to do it (and she was because she actually brought someone else in to help her assemble that ugly tube machine!). I merely responded by saying she was being rude and her behavior was inappropriate. I wasn't unpleasant in my response, but I told her that the fact that she literally had the tube in her hand and said, word for word, "I'm going to stick this tube down your nose," without any warning and with the intent of scaring me, was completely wrong. Oh, and here's the best part, right after I told her that she shouldn't be trying to scare me into doing it (and that I would've appreciated it if they actually told me how long I had before I needed to be done with the solution!) I heard her gossiping outside my room...ABOUT ME! She was laughing with another nurse and then she said "she knows what she's getting, I just told her"! As if I'm some prisoner of theirs in a torture chamber instead of a sick patient recovering from surgery in an emergency room! Seriously, I was baffled, and I wasn't exaggerating because even Jose was disturbed by her far from professional behavior.

Of course, we confronted the doctor about the situation; thank God he wasn't that bad, but the nurses and medical staff that night were absolutely horrible. I think I left that night feeling more sick than when I arrived. Don't ever let this happen to you; avoid this place, and similar places with yucky hospital staff, like the plague!

My little house

Hewo!
Here is a little picture of my little living room filled with little things that Jose and I collected from here and there, all bargains, of course. I will post a more exciting entry soon! (By the way, I posted this picture here on the side of the little afro whatever-it-is because it reminds me of Jose...when he's in dire need of a haircut and a good frizz control serum, I thought it was cute!)

Long time no type!

Hello World!
Sorry it seems as though I've temporarily fallen off the face of the earth. Life has been keeping both Jose and I very busy! Of course, I'm still cooking, nothing will stop me from making new dishes! Not even my own funky digestive system.

Anyhow, in just a few short days we will be moving into our new apartment! I am so excited, it'll be our first "home"! It's likely we've purchased almost every possible cute decorative objective from the thrift stores here in Austin. I've never done so much thrift shopping in my life and I think I'm an addict! Sometimes I'm amazed at what cute objects people throw away. Just last weekend I purchased this really sweet Pillsbury Dough Boy sugar/creamer set...and, no, I don't drink coffee, but I've always wanted Pillsbury Dough Boy paraphernalia, even if I refuse to buy his pre-made cookie dough. (I was a big fan of that stuff as a kid, now I have a pride issue about buying even canned beans or practically-already-made cookies/cakes--one day I will make everything from scratch, I'm determined!)

In just a few weeks, Jose and I will hopefully be working part-time, and in just a little over a month he'll be starting his final year of college...then it's time for the great move to wherever Jose wants to go to law school! Sometimes I think I'm more excited than he is, though I'm sure he's looking forward to it, but I'm coming down with that former military brat syndrome. What are the symptoms? Well, for me--I feel awkward staying in one city for too long. Don't get me wrong, I've always wanted to settle down and feel like I actually have a real home (instead of feeling the way I did during the "moving years," as if I lived in a storage facility loaded with the many boxes I refused to empty, since I'd have to start packing right after unpacking the last box, anyway).

But it's not exactly time to officially settle down yet, if you know what I mean. Even when Jose's in law school, we'll still be going back and forth, probably during the summer months, between Texas and Connecticut...or New York...or Virginia...or California (depending on where he decides to go). So it seems I've adopted a few ways of the gypsy, but once that biological clock starts ticking, and I start buying onesies, bibs, and bonnets with my college insignia embroidered on them in tiny pink or blue letters, I plan on settling down, most likely here in Texas with my far from cowboy, not quite city slicker, but wonderfully dorky hunk of a hubby, wow...what a long title I've given him, and what a run-on sentence that was!

In much fewer words, I'll sum up my blog absence excuse like this: Life is good, lots of sunny days...but we're still in Texas, literally and figuratively, so the weather changes in the blink of an eye. No complaints here, though, at least we have an umbrella of blessings to keep us dry when it pours; it helps us last through the unexpected storms, if you will. Speaking of the weather, now in a more literal sense, the lightening and thunder outside are pretty intense right now...I will definitely miss these Texas storms when I leave. But I am looking forward to seeing the first snowfall of another state's winter season, and mostly...living life the way it was meant to be lived under any conditions: loaded with love, full of thanks, and stuffed with meaningful moments, like the after-effects that develop from sharing a near perfect Christmas dinner with the people who've inspired us to live that way long after we've broken all our other New Year's resolutions.

I'm grateful that I can finally see I have so many things to be grateful for.

It's all so exciting!

It's just a few more weeks until we move into the new apartment and I really can't wait. The new place is located in a much better area, one that's actually quiet! I am looking forward to decorating it and creating many meals in my brand new kitchen! Not that the kitchen is anything to boast about, but it's one I never cooked in before! I can't wait to baptize it!

But that's not all I'm looking forward to! Jose got his LSAT results back this week and he scored in the 98th percentile!!! That deserves more than just one exclamation point, not only because it's a great score, but also because it means we'll more than likely be moving to the East Coast, where there are actually seasons! I'm looking forward to seeing the leaves change color around Autumn, and building snowmen during the winter! Oh, and did I mention they have some of the best culinary art schools on that side of the US?! Back when I was applying to college, I was hoping to submit an application to one of the art schools around the New York area. But my parents were against the idea, they didn't want me so far away, and they were afraid I might change my mind about being a designer...they were right. I ended up studying English, as you readers know...but my interest in the arts has never waned, as quite a few entries in this blog suggest. I make cards, I'm starting to make jewelry, I'm determined to learn how to use a sewing machine because I dream of the day when I can make all my own clothes, since shopping annoys me...What else? My middle finger on my right hand is crooked from all those years of writing hundreds of usually overly-dramatic, far from laureate worthy poems, and as for these days? Well, now anyone can spot me gallivanting around the kitchen with oil spots on my shirt (cheesy pun intended) either from baking a fairly edible frosted cake or an experimental concoction involving some mix of meat and vegetables that my guinea pigs would probably not eat, though my fiance ever-so-lovingly consumes with a smile on his face, followed by a quiet, closed-mouth, indigestion-produced burp disguised as a nod of approval. Well, it really isn't that bad, unless I decide to turn the kitchen into a toxic chemistry lab, but that only happens on rare occasions. That is precisely the reason why culinary art school is for me, think of how many lives will be saved !

You know, my cooking really isn't all that bad, but I like to pretend it is...just in case someone does get repulsed by something my weird taste buds find appetizing. At least if I go to culinary art school, preferably one on the East Coast, I can use it as a sort of insurance plan, or a claim to the yummy legitimacy of my kitchen creations...if Alton Brown went to the Culinary Institute of America and I did too, then obviously I can't be that bad of a cook and, really, it's just that your taste buds are uneducated! Well, maybe that doesn't sound as good as I thought it would, seeing that individual taste buds don't have brains, but you know what I mean!

(HAHA! I literally had to run off to the kitchen in the middle of this entry because I burned the potatoes and carrots that I was steaming/boiling for a pot roast I made for dinner...Note To Self: DO NOT write and cook at the same time! Two forms of expression occurring simultaneously=not good! Ah, but at least I was able to make up for it by making a mean, tasty gravy, no recipe required here, man! Oh and as for the potatoes and carrots, I was able to separate the good from the bad and discard the latter...it's my goal to never waste, but sometimes that is a challenge, my friend.)

Alright, back on topic. So, as the blog title claims...it's all so exciting! Whether I'm burning veggies in the kitchen while contemplating a blessed life as a future chef and soon-to-be wife of an LSAT genius/future attorney...or posting a new blog entry about it all, there's never a dull moment around here. Life's been tough, and even though I often thought the grass was greener on the other side, it turns out that the weedy dandelions on my side of the fence have definitely been faithful in granting wishes. Always be thankful, that's what I've learned.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

...And, of course, the title of this entry is taken directly from the first line of one of my favorite books, A Tale of Two Cities. Like that very wordy piece of literature, my life is drenched with tiny details; the descriptions drag on some times, but I've decided they add to the beauty of the entire piece, the composition of my life. I'm seriously waiting for a moment of rest, though...when is the author going to give me a break and lay-off the minuscule details? God reminds me of Charles Dickens, or maybe I should say Charles Dickens reminds me of God. He's up there with a pen in hand, like the creative author he is, leaving me wondering how, exactly, this particular chapter in my life is going to end...but I'm sure somewhere written in its lines is the phrase: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I am trusting that things will get better, but at the same time, I am not dumb, and every day I give thanks for the way things are. As quirky as that sounds, there are many things to be thankful for in spite of the few sticky situations. I can walk, talk, write, create, imagine, hope for better times, learn from the bad times, and even talk about God or any other religion openly without having to worry about persecution: freedom is beautiful and I am free. Still, that's a fact I quickly forget when I begin victimizing myself as Debt's property.

Yes, I am in debt up to the wazoo. I wouldn't even be surprised if I owe you money...yes, dear reader, you, wherever you are. Just kidding. It isn't that bad, but if you know me, you understand how I tend to throw in a little humor before I even start thinking of throwing in the towel. Here's the not so shiny side of the coin: I don't have a job, my last boss forced me to resign because she didn't want me missing work (this was during my pre-gallbladder removal days) and, if you've been keeping up with this blog, you'd understand that I still have many doctor appointments lined up (I'm still trying to figure out what's wrong with my crazy digestive system that negatively overreacts at the presence of any kind of food). It's all really quite weird; physically, I definitely don't feel 22, and that's been the trend the past few months. Believe me, I've been grasping at straws trying to figure out how I can get a job, one that would allow me to work from home (those are not easy to come by!). My parents have their own issues to deal with, so they aren't helping out, my grandma has really been supportive...and Jose's also been a real champ, helping me out however and whenever he can. But those two wonderful people can only do so much. Even when Jose and I start wearing the rings that represent our lifelong partnership together, I still don't want him to be the only one "bringing home the bacon". He already has to worry about getting ready for law school, and finishing up this final year of college, the last thing I want is more stress for him...the thought of that stresses me out even more, and I'm sure that just contributes to my debilitating gastric condition.

Some days it's easy to see that life is good. I have enough to make it, including an abundance of love. Other days, the pain brought about by that unsettling feeling in my gut really knocks me out of my senses, and I'm not sure how I'm gonna be able to tolerate another day of pain. Then the thought of my college debt and medical bills enters my weary little head, and the overly-dramatic Sophie comes to life like a modern-day Frankenstein. This is just the raw truth, no need for sympathy on your part. It's been really tough lately, but somehow I always get over the humps, never alone, though...and that's what makes me just like everyone else sitting behind their laptop/computer screen reading these lines.

Update time

These past few weeks have been busy. Jose took the LSAT a little over a week ago, and we find out his score probably some time late next week! He studied so hard for that exam, I'm sure he did well. We've both been getting ready to move to our new apartment. We've found some pretty great buys as far as furniture goes, just checking out estate sales and thrift stores. Our humble abode will definitely have that homey/eclectic look to it. I'm also thinking about fixing up a couple of the items we purchased, it's on my "to do" list for the summer; I've always wanted to do that sort of thing.

It seems like so many things are happening at once! We went to Houston this weekend to celebrate Jose's birthday with his family, and we recently added another guinea pig to our own little growing family! We decided to name the little guy Yoshi, it seems to go well with Mochi. Sadly, it seems the two aren't getting along very well, they're both feisty dominating males eager to fight over their "territory" (or their side of the cage). We're hoping they eventually become friends, seeing that guinea pigs tend to get along better in pairs...but it could just be that their personalities don't mix.

It's been awhile since I've updated. As of late, I've been thinking more about how it seems time is going by faster, especially as I get older...and, boy, do I feel old. I'll be getting married soon...I AM OLD! But, of course, no big wedding. With law school coming up, undergrad debts/medical bills to pay off, and general living expenses to worry about, there isn't much change to spare for much else, but I don't mind one bit. Jose and I both agree that it's better to have a "traditional" wedding once he's out of law school and we're financially well-off. For now, we're keeping it small and simple, uncomplicated but definitely still meaningful.

In other news, I'm still trying to figure out why my gut has been acting up ever since my gallbladder was removed (it's so annoying!), but thank God I'm able to get out a tad bit more than before. Even though things have been kind of rough financially over the past few months, things seem to be falling into place without falling apart!

Minds that complement each other

As I write this, Jose is studying for the LSAT...like crazy. I think he spent about 7 hours at his desk just yesterday, and now he's at it again. Sometimes I don't see how he does it; how the heck does he maintain a 4.0 while earning a double major in both Economics and Philosophy, then donate a kidney...and then expect himself to score no less than 171 on the LSAT?! That's certainly not like me. But, somehow, we suite each other quite well. I'm happy graduating college with just honors in my major, I'm far from "mathy", and I hate economics. In moments like these, when the pressure is on, and Jose's strutting his all too familiar Einstein hairdo (it's basically the look he gets when he's been studying too long; his hair stands on end and I can't help but laugh and think of Einstein whenever I see him that way) I try to convince him that we're still gonna be well-off in life as a team, even if he doesn't get into all the Ivy League schools he plans on applying to.

I'd die in law school. Funny thing is, I actually thought about going once. I figured, if I could persuade people on paper, maybe I could do it in real life. Then I realized there was much more to it! It's like it didn't occur to me how silly I'd feel working in the kind of environment that career calls for; it's so not me! In fact, lately I've even been moving further and further away from the idea of attending grad school. I'm sure I could do that, but I don't know that I'd necessarily enjoy it. I want a career that's rewarding and enjoyable, I don't think that's too much to ask for. So while in college, even though I often considered that the English stereotype might be somewhat true (basically the belief that we'll all end up selling our often jobless and desperate souls to some fast food chain not long after graduating) I decided that English was the major for me. I learned quite a bit as a result of taking so many English courses; to tell you the truth, it's amazing how much more I appreciate every book I read now than before I started down the literary path of over-anlyzation.

I love creating things from words, reading them, dissecting them...but, as far as grad school goes, I want to do something else. English was/is fun, but the future holds something different for moi. I still want to create things, but there are so many different mediums that can be used to make those "things", whatever I decide they'll be. I have a very strong feeling those "things" will be foods. I mentioned it before, but I really feel like culinary art school is the place for me; it's time to create poetry with food instead of words. I guess I've failed to live up to the English major stereotype, but, hey, I'll still be working with food!

For now, the kitchen is my experimentation zone, and whatever comes out of it, Jose eats with a smile on his face. Bless his heart; maybe his senses are completely desensitized from studying so much? Or maybe...just maybe...I do have an innate knack for cooking?! Who knows, but whatever the case, I think God definitely knew that Jose and I would be two ingredients that would complement each other like salt and pepper, however different we might be.


Our future is still kind of unclear, we don't know what side of the US we'll end up on, but it's fun not knowing, even so. A little uncertainty belongs to everyone, but when you're blessed with a relationship that's sure to last, the ambiguity isn't so frightening.

Not venting, just being honest.

Lately it seems things have taken a turn for the worst. Other than the usual post-operative pain, I was doing great the first few weeks following my gallbladder surgery. I was able to eat "normal" again, and not feel like a geriatric 22 year old. Sadly, that's no longer the case. I've progressively become more sick these past couple of weeks. I haven't left my apartment in days, and I can't eat much either. It's incredibly frustrating because I was hoping to return to my normal life after getting my dysfunctional gallbladder removed. Now, after I eat, even though I might've been hungry beforehand, I end up feeling like I'm being punished by my own body afterward, with stomach pains that don't subside, bloating that leaves me feeling like a blimp, and nausea that lingers like bad breath after eating too much garlic.

I'm hoping this will eventually go away! I've heard some people experience digestive problems for only a few months following a gallbladder removal. I pray that I'm in that category; I've also heard that others suffer from chronic pain, though, having to stay close to a bathroom at all times and eat completely bland food while still feeling sick for the rest of their lives. Right now I feel like I have a perpetual stomach virus; it's very discouraging. I'm trying to remain hopeful, but when I'm surrounded by other college kids my age, and I see how healthy their bodies are, I can't help but get sad because I know I'm not one of them.

Gifts to reopen. Books!

For the past couple of hours I've been reading. Instead of cooking something up in the kitchen, like I usually do each afternoon, I decided to take a literary vacation. But now I'm taking a break from that, at least until I can find another book. I'll be finished with The Center of Everything in just a matter of hours; it's been an entertaining read, thanks to barnesandnoble.com. They're the source of my good book discoveries, and I guess I should also give credit to Amazon.com. So I'm back on their site (B&N), searching for another good find and reading reader reviews one at a time.

I've found a couple of books worth dedicating future Spring afternoons to, but sometimes I get tired of reading constrained adult fiction. When this happens, I head on over to the kiddie lit section where I'm sure I'll find a treasure, usually among the award winners. After flying through about 20 books in the Children's Lit course I took in college, I quickly realized that kiddie lit can be a lot more enlightening and sincerely heartwarming than a few of the adult reads that make it onto bestseller lists. But I think most adults don't really consider reading books with kiddos as the main characters, unless they have children of their own, but I don't see why they don't.

Below is a list that includes a few books I've thoroughly enjoyed reading. Even if you don't take your Flinstone vitamins and leave cookies out for Santa anymore, you'll still get something out of these delightful page-turners that will most likely keep you up past your bedtime.

• Stargirl By Jerry Spinelli
• Hope Was Here by Joan Bauer
• Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo
• Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
• The Giver by Lois Lowry
• Number the Stars by Lois Lowry

Fun around Austin: Thrift shopping.

I like old things. I am not a fan of the new car or new house smell. This is exactly why I enjoy shopping at second-hand stores. My mom introduced me to the idea when I was a lot younger; she doesn't like new things either. When we lived in our newly built home in San Angelo years ago, my mom still insisted on decorating our place with little this-thats collected from various thrift stores located on the outskirts of town. One day, I almost bought a vintage wedding dress from the 19th century in one of the stores we visited, it was so cheap considering the year it was made! Later in high school I started collecting vintage purses. They were all so fairly priced when I got my hands on them; here in Austin, you can't easily find cute bargain purses like that, let me tell you.

Jose and I have recently taken up thrift shopping together, it's been fun, but sometimes disappointing. Thrift shopping has definitely become more of a trend, especially in artsy cities like Austin, and I think the Goodwill has picked up on it. Gone are the days when the Goodwill uses leftover grocery bags from who-knows-where to pack-up their customers precious items. Now they have a logo on them! How long have they had those neon green and blue letters on their factory ordered bags? Have I really been out of the Goodwill circle for that long? Part of the reason why I used to love going to the unheard of, unpopular thrift stores is because they're set up like a treasure hunt: everything is randomly scattered around and, with a keen eye for one-of-a-kind objects, you're forced to search for what you really want. Initially you may not know what you "really" want, but you'll know once you see it; it'll probably be something like another faded and fun, but very nostalgic-to-someone wood carving, plate, or salt and pepper shaker set. I've definitely found my share of old oddities, but lately I haven't had much luck. Why? Because everything has already been dusted off for me, not to mention perfectly stacked on the shelf as if it were a brand spankin' new department store item lacking character and a personal history.

There is a solution to the problem, at least for those who are sincerely interested in one, it's called, the estate/garage sale! Sometimes they can be a bit frustrating, since you have to plan ahead and set a date when you can hit the sales early in the morning to avoid the crowds and acquire the goods, but the sales are worth it. If you're willing to look, which you probably are if you are an avid thrifter, you'll be rewarded for your patience. The first estate sale Jose and I visited was put on by the family of an older couple who had passed away. Yes, the thought of visiting an estate sale is quite sad, but just think how happy the former owners would be to discover that someone is picking up where they left off, taking part in the history making process of an original piece of art they valued while here on Earth. And, yes, I do view old items as art, at least most of them. I understand that some lose their sparkle with time, but it's the thrift shopper's/antique collecter's responsibility to prevent this from happening.

I'll miss hearing that Carole King theme song...

I have to admit, I am more than just a tiny bit blue that next Tuesday night will be the final evening I'll get to take a trip, via my TV of course, to Star's Hollow. Ever since the first episode aired early on in my high school years, I was guaranteed more than just meager entertainment for one quickly passing hour per week; even then I wanted to see more! Lorelai and Rory's witty banter made the show; the cozy little house they lived in, along with the bed and breakfast Lorelai came to own many episodes into the show were just a few of the added treats that represented what the Gilmore Girls were all about: Total fun and unparalleled originality. And...who wouldn't want to live in a town like the magically fantastic and uncommercialized Star's Hollow? It was simple but cute; left uncorrupted by the usually dominating and artificial pop culture; not to mention, it was nothing like the small towns I've previously resided in.

Really, I can go on and on as to why I have been a dedicated fan of this charming and engaging show; before I say anything else, though, I have to mention how I had never (ever!) before watched a TV series from beginning to end until the Gilmore Girls came along. I have yet to find another show that I find as addicting. I don't really feel I'm all that picky, really, it seems I'm looking for simplicity. I don't want exaggerated and unbelievable drama, or even another silly reality TV show that fallaciously claims to be true to life. Acting should be like putting on make-up, just provide enough emotion to creatively enhance the entertainment experience; a little goes a long way.

Venting

Thank God the surgery was a success, but I can't say that it doesn't hurt like crazy...I currently have absolutely zero pain medications in my system, even though I just got out of surgery less than 24 hours ago...why? Because they make me feel so sick, and puking while having stitches on your stomach isn't exactly pleasant...I have never been in this much pain, it hurts so bad that I can't even talk in a normal voice, or even take a breath without feeling like my stomach is being ripped apart. I do have to say one thing, though, I am so thankful that I live in a country where this kind of procedure is easy to do, and that I don't have to be put on a wait-list before I can see a surgeon. I think that's the only thing helping with the pain, I have to keep telling myself that even though it hurts like crazy, at least I was able to have it done...if I would've waited too long, I could've ended up with liver damage, which would've been a lot worse.

As I type this on my laptop, I'm lying down in bed in a very awkward position. Haha! It's funny how I have to situate myself in certain positions in order to sleep, move, etc., I keep telling myself that in just a matter of days, the pain will mostly be gone and I'll be able to get out of bed and gallivant around again. I can't wait! Honestly, though, I expected the pain to be much worse, and thank God it isn't!

All over the place!

When I think about all the things I want to do with this little life of mine, I can't help but realize that life, in general, isn't very long at all. I'm one of those people with way too many interests and the list, basically, keeps getting longer. There are a few things I know I need to do. I strongly believe that if anyone is alive and healthy, they shouldn't lead lives completely centered on just their own personal interests. We're alive to define love with action; some people do it indirectly, by donating money to a cause they support; some use their brains, they become doctors or engineers that develop prosthetic parts for those in need--the list goes on. Others take a more hands-on approach, they join organizations like the Peace Corps and Teach for America, or they might even work at a local food bank and tutor kids during their free-time. So, the only thing I'm really certain of, as far as my future is concerned, is that I will do my part as an active member of the human race, most likely as a teacher, but what about the other details? Like, how will I do it, and what will I do afterward?

Well, life is pretty chaotic right now. I'm still waiting for the gooey gallbladder removal, which I am anxiously awaiting! After that's over, and I'm no longer writhing in pain from the surgery, I'll probably do the office job thing for awhile. Just for AWHILE! I hate working in an office setting; it's not me! I don't particularly enjoy doing frivolous desk work, I'm more of a hands-on kind of gal. Whether I'm making food, taking pictures, painting, writing, crocheting, or making personalized cards, I always have to be doing something that involves creativity. The office job thing is only temporary, at least until Jose and I get settled down in whatever city he'll be attending law school. For now, he's shooting for schools along the East and West Coasts, and I am definitely excited. The cost of living in Texas is cheap, no argument there, but I miss the ocean and getting to see each season's beauty! I can't get certified to teach now because I'm probably not going to be in Texas for that much longer, unless Jose decides to stay at UT. We'll see, I won't really mind; I actually love Austin, even when I'm dying of heat stroke. The thought of grad school is definitely on the brain, and if I go, I'll most likely study Child Development or Developmental Psychology. I really enjoyed the child development courses I took in order to earn my minor in Education, and working with children is both meaningful and rewarding.

But, of course, there's the unwritten to-do list that I can't seem to get rid of! What else is on the ever-growing list? Well, among many other things, "attend culinary art school" is one of the recent additions. I guess I shouldn't say recent, considering I first entertained the idea around age 11, when I visited one of San Francisco's cooking academies. It was a memorable experience, and I have to admit that ever since then I've preferred strawberries wearing chocolate tuxedos over the plain ones. I think it's also in my blood, my grandparents used to have their own restaurant. But, honestly, living in Austin these past couple of years has made the idea of going to culinary art school even more real to me. There are so many quaint-cozy-cute little restaurants and stores that I've visited, and I thought it would be a lot of fun to open up a place that was a mix between the two, but not just any run-of-the-mill restaurant/store combo. Austin is known for it's quirkiness, so it would definitely have to stand-out, and because I'm a big fan of originality, I certainly wouldn't want to open up a place that's boring. I have a few ideas up my sleeve, but I don't want to mention too many of the details ! Jose has thought of possibly settling down in the Austin area after graduating from law school, so this plan of mine might actually turn out to be a pretty good one...

For now I'll try to stick with that old familiar cliche: Take it one day at a time! But then I realize the possibilities and get a little ahead of myself. Life really is exciting, isn't it? I just wish it was a little easier sometimes, but don't we all!

Mmm Mmm Saltines and 7up anyone?

Ah! It's so wonderful to be back home! You know what physical feeling I hate almost more than any other? I mean, I feel like I can tolerate pain pretty well, but my real weakness is nausea! Ugh, I had this horrible stomach flu this weekend; it shot my white blood cell count through the roof and sent my appetite and dinner down the drain (lovely image, ha!)!

I started feeling sick on Friday around 2 AM, and I went to the doctor later that day. The doc took some tests, saw how high my white blood count was and then told me to go to ER. When I told her my gallbladder was gonna be removed in a few weeks, she thought I could have pancreatitis, which is a really bad thing that can happen to people if they leave their poorly functioning gallbladders in their bodies for too long. So, of course, when Jose and I heard this we freaked out, especially when the doc told us that I would have to stay in the hospital and not eat for two weeks if I did, in fact, have this awful pancreatitis thing. I only ended up spending the weekend in the hospital being poked and prodded, in addition to getting way too high off of the narcotics they gave me. Oh but believe me, my life is exciting enough, so I definitely don't need drugs, thank you very much! The good news is, my pancreas is healthy and happy! Fabulous! And although I'm personally quite happy to be out of the hospital, I'm still trying to get healthy!

Man, times like these make me the most grateful that I don't have an illness that requires me to stay in a hospital 24/7. I am not a very patient patient! I think God knows I'm not strong enough to handle that sort of thing, I guess that's why I haven't been placed me in that kind of situation. But believe me, I do wonder sometimes, it's been pretty tough these past couple of months! One thing I know for sure is that aside from all the health drama, I am very blessed. Jose has been so supportive and helpful. I don't think they would've let me leave the hospital today if it wasn't for him being there the whole time; it's amazing how love really does work better than any painkiller.

Anyway, I actually can't wait for the surgery! I had to reschedule the initial date, sadly, but now, in 18 more days, I should be feeling a whole lot better and I can't wait! Goodbye green gooey gallbladder!