hungry but full

Life does funny things to you. Right when you think it's smooth sailing, that the rough winds have died down enough for you to not get sea sick...the waves start getting a little crazy again and you begin to wonder if the grotesque shade of green your face is turning matches the seaweed being heaved onto the deck of your recently polished boat. You know it's gonna be more than a three hour tour, far more than what you and Skipper bargained for.

So, this is how it is right now for me. It's been an incredibly rough week, but I'm determined to try to stay as "normal" as possible, continuing to busy myself with the things I love, especially cooking--even if I can't ingest the food I make. What irony, hu? The girl who wants to have her own restaurant one day, and possibly go to culinary art school, has pretty significant digestive problems that seem to be getting worse as of late (though I am thankful that up until this week, things seemed to be settling down....I guess it was just too boring for my body). It seems even cream of rice made with water and a pinch of sugar and cinnamon is too much for my disturbed stomach, it's quite pathetic and frustrating, considering how much I love food. It seems we actually have a love-hate relationship, but most of the time I tend to be in deep denial over the "hate" aspect of it.

Oh yes, I think my footprints are deeply embedded on the carpeted path leading from my bed to the lovely toilet room. And those fab all-night stomach stabbing-cramping sessions are back again, hopefully only for a short (but very unwelcomed) visit. I really do need this blog to vent, I don't want to mix what I love (i.e., cooking, poetry, and even music) with my not-so-happy bloggings, but, hey, I try to be realistic, I can't even stay unhappy for too long, it's "un-Sophie". I just wish I could divide things up that easily in real life...like, maybe I could convince my body to only get sick on days when it's too hot or even too rainy to do much else, and it would be quite wonderful if I could orchestrate my stomachaches around my work schedule, but life is holding the bulletin board of Sophie's activities, and my body is too darn weak to speak up and say NO, getting sick really is a waste of time, not to mention depressing, so lets focus on something more productive!

So even though there's still the medical bills to pay off from my past surgery, and college debt I can't forget about...at least I actually got my degree, and thank God I didn't have to sit around with a sick gallbladder, just waiting for my liver or pancreas to start malfunctioning. What else? At least I can still cook...and even if I can't eat it, I'm thankful it makes someone's day; Jose gets a kick out of trying something that came out of my at-home experiment lab, aka kitchen. And when I'm staring at the ceiling late at night, feeling like I'm the only one with gut-wrenching pain, I realize that I still have my entire life ahead of me. This isn't a fatal situation I'm in and God has already blessed me far more than I expected to be blessed at this point in my life. Who can forget this ultimate sustaining blessing--my sanity keeper--love. I have plenty of it, and even though my empty stomach might be craving a juicy steak which, upon its consumption, would definitely open the door for me to get a "thank you for being our #1 customer" call from a Charmin sales representative....I know my heart is full and quite satisfied.

So, yeah, I might feel like I'm the only 20 something year old with a 90 year old digestive system, but at least I know that what I have is meaningful and lasting. Sometimes I think I wouldn't have been able to figure it out on my own, all these obstacles have definitely opened my eyes. For instance, I don't know how many girls my age can say that their fiance has been there with them "in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad."

It seems marital vows are quite easy to recite for anyone wearing the fanciest dress/tuxedo they'll probably ever own, but it appears those vows lose their significance once the "special" occasion is over; they get hidden in the closet and start to yellow like the once white wedding dress. The only gown Jose has ever seen me in is a hospital gown, and as far as I'm concerned, it actually holds more symbolic meaning and significance to me than any wedding dress ever could. And how do I know I'm with the right person and that I do have a groovy kind of love, even if Phil Collins already said he had it first? Because Jose's already done far more for me than what the average husband ever has to do for his wife, and, also, he's not doing it just because he vowed to, though it is evident that in his heart he's just as dedicated as if he did.

Another blog?! Yep!

Alright, being that I have an obsession with cooking AND blogging, I figured it'd be a good idea for me to open up a food blog. It's still pretty small, I just fixed it up a few days ago. I didn't want this blog's content to get too "messy" with just too much information... So to keep things a little more on the organized side, from now on I'll be posting all my "foodie stuff" on the food blog, while this site stays dedicated to just words/stories/random personal experiences--all that kinda stuff. Alrighty then, for now happy blogging (you know that's what I'll be doing)!

sneaky snickerdoodles: even kids will love this lowfat recipe!

So today I baked some snickerdoodles before heading off to work, where they were then sampled by some fabulous gals with very refined taste buds; they were all under age 10 :). Of course, I didn't tell them they were low-fat, at their age, that isn't really a concern, unless they don't have a gallbladder like me! Anyway, they loved them...they even asked for more but I didn't want these sneaky snickerdoodles to spoil their appetite for dinner. Jose was even surprised that these classic but wonderful cookies could be made with such a small amount of butter, he calculated that they each had less than 1g of fat! Then we decided that the Food Network really needs to have a show centered around cooking healthy food that still tastes just as good or even better than the unhealthier versions. I do love me some Food Network, but I do get a little disappointed at how so many of the cooks/chefs on there feel the need to use a tub of butter to cook their desserts! If I wanted butter that bad, I would just eat the stick by itself and not even put the time into baking...and why put all that butter in a dessert if it's just going to leave you with regrets afterward? I swear to you, next to the chocolate chip ones I posted earlier, these cookies are some of the best and DO NOT TASTE LOWFAT AT ALL. I'm sure you'll have to try them in order to really understand what I'm talking about, so here's the recipe. They're super easy to make, and I bet you even have these ingredients in your kitchen already!

2 dozen delectable snickerdoodles with less than 1g of fat per cookie:
Yes, even Martha will find it hard to believe.

1 1/2 Cups white sugar
1/2 TBSP cinnamon
2 TBSP nonfat milk
2 TBSP softened/partially melted butter
2 eggs
2 1/3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

Cinnamon/Sugar Mix (guessing here--you decide what's good for you)
3 TBSP sugar
1 3/4 TBSP cinnamon

you know the unfancy drill of throwing it all into a bowl...then just roll up little 1 in. balls of dough and dip them into a cinnamon/sugar mix--place them on a cookie sheet and slightly flatten them out with a teaspoon and bake them at 400 for 10-11 minutes (they don't expand much, so you really just need about 3/4 of an in. between each cookie).

If anyone out there uses this recipe, tell me how you liked the cookies!

Goodbye, Bisquick!

I always wondered what, exactly, made up the Bisquick mix contents. The ingredients list was long and complicated, and I knew it couldn't possibly be THAT complex to make pancake mix...so I took the plunge and made up my own. Now, though I often downplay butter's greatness, I do think it's a great idea to use the stuff when making pancakes, either in the actual pancake mix or as a pancake topper. Speaking of pancake toppers, I made an apple topper. I love apples in baked goods, so I tried making the mix a little spicy and apple flavored, but I also wanted apples on top...so here's what I did to make these...


Apple Cinnamon Spice Pancakes
(this recipe makes about 8 medium-sized pancakes)
1 1/2 Cups flour
1/2 TSP baking soda
1/2 TSP salt
2 TBSP sugar
1 TBSP cinnamon
1 TBSP canola oil OR BUTTER, butter is better in this case!
1 Cup milk
1 egg
1 TSP apple pie spice

Mix all this stuff in a bowl, as usual. The mix might be a bit too light for some, but I like thin pancakes. If you want them heartier/thicker, just add 1/4 cup more flour. Cook the pancakes on a low setting, they burn easily! Also, when they're done cooking and still warm, add a tiny teaspoon to the top and let it melt for a better buttery taste. Oh yeah, I also love powdered sugar on pancakes, as if they aren't already sweet enough!

And this is what made up that...


Apple Topping
1 whole apple-- sliced (I used pink ladies because their tartness balances out the sweetness of the rest of the ingredients, but you can use fuji if you want something sweeter)
1 TBSP brown sugar
1/2 TBSP butter
2 TBSP apple sauce
1/3 cup apple juice

To cook the topping, bring all these ingredients to a boil in a sauce pan, then put on a medium setting for about 10 minutes, or until the apples are cooked to your liking--I cooked mine until they were soft. You might also want to add 1 TBSP more of water, if your sauce is thicker than you want it to be.

That's it, folks. Not only will these pancakes give your taste buds a nice morning wake-up call, their sauce will fill your house with a Christmasy-cinnamon smell, like naturally seasonal potpourri :).

THE best chocolate chip cookies & they're LOWFAT!

I've made so many chocolate chip cookies, always hoping that the next batch will come out just right. How do I like chocolate chip cookies? With just the right amount of chocolate chips, crispy edges and a chewy/soft center that doesn't taste raw! I found a pretty good recipe, but it was wayyy too buttery. I literally had butter/grease all over my fingers after munching on a few, so I knew I had to do something...and I did. I reduced the amount of butter by over 1/3 of a cup! I also added a bit more flour, a tiny bit of water to add that crunch, a little more brown sugar, along with a little less chocolate chips...oh yeah, and baking powder instead of soda.

Deceivingly Low-Fat Chocolate Chip Cookies
(I swear, they actually taste better without the extra butter!)

1 1/3 cup flour
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 TSP vanilla extract
1/2 TSP baking powder
1/2 TSP salt
2 TSP hot water
2 1/2 TBSP butter
1/3 cup chocolate chips

Mix all the ingredients together in a medium-sized bowl; if you use about 1 TBSP worth of cookie dough for each cookie, then bake them for about 11 minutes on 375, you'll get a good-sized baker's dozen...and happy taste buds!

I couldn't help myself, I'm learnin' so much

Catholic Quiz: What Kind of Catholic Are You?

You scored 59, on a scale of 0 to 100. Here's how to interpret your score:
0 - 25		You are a Centering Prayer (very progressive) Catholic.
26 - 50		You are an Ignatian Exercises (moderately progressive) Catholic.
51 - 75		You are a Divine Office (moderately traditional) Catholic.
76 - 100		You are a Daily Rosary (very traditional) Catholic.

Well, I couldn't help myself...one of my new jobs, as one of a few editors working for one of UTs professors, requires me to do a lot of research regarding religion; particularly the monotheistic ones, and I've been learning so much lately that I've become curious about my own claimed religion. I was raised Catholic, but my mother eventually swayed the Protestant way, and though I agree with some protestant beliefs, I've come to realize that I'm a little too progressive. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a traditionalist Catholic. In fact, I've never even prayed the rosary, nor do I feel that it's a necessary act. I think I know where Bono stands, and I pretty much agree with his beliefs. haha, sorry, that guy...he is my male version of Mother Teresa.

Anyway, thanks to a class I took on the reformation my last year of college, I learned a little about the good stuff that went down during the Second Vatican meetings, and how there were a few conservative Catholics who had their feathers ruffled because some of the newly introduced ideas seemed to stray too far from the familiar. I think it needed to happen, though, for many reasons. I can only name a few off the top of my head, and I don't want to go into too much detail (considering I had to do it for 4 hours straight earlier today--I'm working on a paper with the professor, he's lecturing at an interreligious dialogue conference, which should definitely be interesting). I've actually been a bit surprised by some of the stuff I've learned, like how one of the Vat II documents literally states that Muslims (okay, I'm getting out my notes, I want to make sure I quote this properly)......ok, what does it say Sophie? Umm...here it is. "...at the Second Vatican Council, the Catholic Church proclaimed its respect and esteem for Muslims and asserted that Islam was a genuine path of salvation." Wow, what a claim to make! Especially after declaring for so long that the Catholic Church was the one true church! That quote was taken from "Turkish Experience of Muslim Christian Dialogue: Past and Present" in case you want to read more about it; it's actually a really, really well-written, far from boring paper that does a good job of summing up the efforts made by some Christian, Jewish, and Muslim leaders who are trying to peacefully "find common ground," if you want to call it that.

I think I know why the quiz resulted in giving me a "moderately traditional" title, I am pretty conservative when it comes to abortion. Yeah, I pretty much hate it, to say the least. But I'm not at all for damning the people who've had them; actually, I'm not holy enough to point the finger, it's not like my name is God. Now that I remember, it would really bother me when the extremists would come around campus; I hated their dumb billboards. I couldn't even look at them they were so horribly gruesome, I can't even imagine how they would make someone feel who actually had an abortion. That is the wrong way to go about getting a message across, it even makes me cringe at the thought of calling them pro-lifers, it's more like pro-condemners! I personally feel abortion is detrimental to the person who receives it, and the "fetus" that dies, but I think those billboards are right up there too! I wish they'd invest their money in something more productive, like raising money for the expecting women who would make it a full-term pregnancy if their only reason for not taking that route was a monetary one...or educating girls on how to avoid getting themselves into that kind of a situation. I don't know why people just leave it up to the state. Sure, health is great, but kids do skip class...and while they're skipping they're probably doing the very thing they wouldn't be doing if some 'informative knowledge' was planted in their brain ahead of time. I know, I know it's not that simple...just here me out. Just so you understand, at 14, I was already helping my mom raise money for our city's crisis pregnancy center, so you know how passionate I am about this issue...that's why I went off on a tangent! They got me at a young age :)!

Anyway, religion! I think that's another issue we shouldn't be ignorant about, if just for the sake of our fellow man, most of the world follows one faith or another. How do you know what to believe or not believe if you don't know what there is to believe or not believe???? Hmmm...

Farmers Market Fun

Jose and I went to the Sunset Valley Farmers Market today, it was sooo hot outside though! It was fun going to see what all the local farmers/business folk were selling, even if some things were a little on the pricy side, like Jose's $3.00 chai tea...but we did pick up some worthwhile items that will definitely serve as lively ingredients in a few of this week's dinners. There were so many different herbs to choose from; I decided to buy a little bit of basil, sage, and oregano. I also came across a farmer who was selling these tiny garlics with a very powerful, almost sweet scent. In spite of their little size, their smell was a lot more potent than that of the much larger garlic cloves I normally buy at the grocery store. I can't wait to use them, even the herbs. I notice a significant difference in taste when using fresh as opposed to dry herbs, and I hope to eventually start my own herb garden, but that probably won't be for awhile. For now, I'm happy with the occasional visit to the farmers market, and here are a few pictures from this weekend's herb-buying-and-spotted-pig-spotting adventure :


These are some of the things I bought. I love the fresh flowers in a can idea, it's cheap and a cute paradox. Oh yeah, that may look like a munchkin bell pepper, but, apparently, it's a cross between a chili and red bell...I think jalapeño? Can't remember. And those are the mini garlics with a loud bark (click on the pic for a better look).


I love these flowers:


my new spotted friend without fur, the spots are my fav: