Everyday should be a holiday!
Every year, we gather around a large dining table, maybe with family and a feast, maybe with just a few friends that have become family, or maybe with all of these things, minus a grateful heart. Thanksgiving was just a few weeks ago, and my favorite holiday, Christmas, is just around the corner. This is the time of year when being unhappy is difficult, but it wasn't until today that I realized that particular happiness of mine is somewhat superficial. After the holidays pass, I tend to get a little sad that they're gone; as odd as it sounds, it's almost like I forget what it's like to not have the "holiday mindset", if you know what I mean. Once all the ornaments on the tree get put away, and the Christmas tree makes its way from my living room to the street, I realize that so many other more important "things" similarly get put away or thrown out.
The happiness I associate with Christmas is only superficial because I've made it that way, though it shouldn't be. I don't always reflect on what it is that makes me smile a little longer at a stranger, or want to help someone who can't afford a Christmas gift for their kiddos. And on Thanksgiving, I love the food, I even love preparing it. I'm always happy on these two holidays (or pretty much any other) because of the memories I've collected throughout the years on those meaningful days. All of those memories are linked to spending time with my extended family, particularly during my childhood, when everything "seemed" perfect. So those memories obviously return to me, especially on Christmas morning. But what happens the rest of the year? Well, I do try...but you know, there's always an excuse that isn't really good enough.
In order to have sympathy or even empathy for someone, I think it requires a certain degree of thankfulness and a whole lot of understanding and patience. It seems that during the holidays, we temporarily allow our minds to be shielded from all the ugly thoughts they normally entertain. They don't have to be that gruesome, I'm simply referring to ungratefulness, judgmental attitudes, or an inability to forgive...it seems all these things get swept under the rug during the holidays (though not always). We temporarily ignore them, and that's okay but we should eventually deal with them. Maybe, for the sake of our own sanity, we easily embrace a pseudo-happiness that's so tempting because of its alleviating qualities, especially around the holidays. But, again, what happens the rest of the time? Maybe we stay a few zip codes away from our families, except for twice a year (on those special occasions), maybe we refuse to talk to certain people because we can only handle them in small doses, like medication. Maybe, on our bad days, we focus on everything that's going wrong, since there isn't a snowman vinyl cling on our window to put a temporary smile on our face. Does that sound familiar? Jeez, it sounds like me!
Yep, I confess. I feel guilty right now. I am happy, but I realize I need to be more like this throughout the year, not just when I get to go home to a house that smells like Christmas-scented oil or get to hear the same 20 Christmas songs played on the radio over and over again (and that doesn't bother me). I should also mention that most of the time I can't even stand it when they play the same songs over and over on the radio, or even play reruns on TV, but I do make an exception for Christmas songs and those cheesy little 30-minute claymation Christmas movies that I've always adored...strange, I know. Now why is it that my overall attitude can't take a lesson from my Christmas spirit?
I guess this is why they came up with the cliche that says something about keeping Christmas in your heart throughout the year. I also think this is why they say there is a difference between joy and happiness. Joy is when you're able to acknowledge that life is hard for everyone and still smile and behave lovingly anyway. Happiness is when you pretend that life isn't hard, and when you find out that it is, you turn into a year-around grinch. I'm a little bit of both, except maybe the latter doesn't completely apply, I do have my good days ;), I just want there to be more of them.
Being thankful throughout the year helps with a lot of things; it helps me realize that I have a lot more than most, whether it's the ability to handle difficulties or even that I have things like my health and a warm place to sleep. As a result, being thankful makes it so much easier to be a loving person, I'm a lot more understanding and less judgmental, because I realize that maybe some people don't have it as good as I do. Maybe they don't have any pleasant holiday childhood memories, maybe that's part of the reason why they don't think of anyone else but themselves? But instead of solely focusing on their selfishness, being grateful for what I have (like an ability to be happy instead of depressed around the holidays) helps me turn my focus to what THEY are lacking, and I'm not referring to the good attitude they aren't displaying but the love they've never received. Do you see what I mean?
So when we see a Salvation Army volunteer outside of a shopping center around the holidays, of course we should offer what we can to them, but we should also turn our focus to how we treat the poor throughout the year, and I'm not just referring to the financially needy. There are a lot of emotionally and spiritually poor folks on this Earth, and how we treat them partially determines how needy they remain. But, of course, maybe we need to reflect on what we are lacking first, and I'm not referring to material things, like the hippopotamus you may want for Christmas :) (I have been listening to way too many Christmas songs!).
