what makes life delicious

Food is beautiful. We need it to stay alive, but the wrong kind will eventually send us to an early grave. Though it seems the food that's the fastest, "most tasty" (at least in the opinion of the food-ignorant, food can actually be healthy AND good!), and most "filling" is also the nastiest--well, when you get down to basics. Junk food is like the cover of a mindless, trashy woman's magazine, it might look good on the outside, but there isn't much substance behind what's being presented. Basically, whether it's a figure that only looks flawless because it was altered by a computer, or a burger that only looks juicy because it's oozing with chemicals and flavor enhancers--the truth is, you're not getting the real deal, even if they love to see you smile or promise to let you have it your way.

Here's an interesting parallel:
It seems that modern day "love", or lust, is a lot like a drive-thru. People want instant satisfaction, whether or not it's good for them, and if they don't get what they want, they send it back without thinking twice, it's not like you had to wait that long anyway--no emotional attachments were made. Instant gratification is nice, no doubt, but what about the consequences? It seems our thoughts have become like a quick-stop, we dismiss them right after they've entered our minds because that's the only way we know how to keep the customer satisfied, Simon and Garfunkel style--in the sense that You're in trouble boy/and you're heading into more.

But you are your own customer getting yourself into trouble:
Your taste buds might be watering over some fabulous french fries drenched in oil, so why neglect the craving? And if you're also in need of a sugar fix, why not order up a side of eye candy to go along with it--something that just looks good, who cares about substance? Whatever looks and feels good, at least right now, seems to be the motto that eventually leaves us starved in every sense of the word. We poison our physical bodies with crap, no wonder it's so easy to feed our souls the same toxic chemicals. The sad thing is, what inspires that kind of behavior is the desire for happiness and satisfaction. If we could purchase the sense of happiness at a drive-thru we would, and we wouldn't care that it was only a "sense" and not the genuine article...or maybe we wouldn't know the difference, at least not until later.

At age 5, happiness was a brand new doll at Christmas from Santa, at least to me. Obviously my definition of happiness then was completely ignorant. The poor doll would eventually get buried in a box somewhere in my dusty garage after I found a new toy to replace it. Now, all the things I associate with happiness can't be disposed of. I can't even imagine growing tired of them because they are spiritual and emotional necessities. With time, I've not only come to appreciate meaningful relationships because they are rare and irreplaceable, but I've also come to value myself more as an individual. I don't like poisoning my mind or body with things that will distort my perception of happiness or life. Because I value life itself, I want to make it last, even if I have to make decisions that won't bring me instant gratification. This doesn't just go for serious issues, but also the lighter ones. Being able to give my all is so important to my happiness because it makes my life meaningful, and if I am in a destructive relationship, or I'm putting destructive food in my body, I'm not able to do that. I guess this is part of the reason why they say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

One of my favorite movies is Como Agua Para Chocolate. There are a few reasons why I like it, but one of the more obvious ones is this: the way it entwines emotion and food. How the people experienced the food was directly related to the emotion felt by the person preparing the meal. Even though it was a fantasy-based movie, I do think some of its core elements can be applied to real life, at least in an indirect and symbolic way. For instance, we all know love really does make food taste better...and we are also too familiar with the saying: You are what you eat. So I guess if that's true, then most of us are greasy, fake, frozen at one point or another, and probably fried.

hungry but full

Life does funny things to you. Right when you think it's smooth sailing, that the rough winds have died down enough for you to not get sea sick...the waves start getting a little crazy again and you begin to wonder if the grotesque shade of green your face is turning matches the seaweed being heaved onto the deck of your recently polished boat. You know it's gonna be more than a three hour tour, far more than what you and Skipper bargained for.

So, this is how it is right now for me. It's been an incredibly rough week, but I'm determined to try to stay as "normal" as possible, continuing to busy myself with the things I love, especially cooking--even if I can't ingest the food I make. What irony, hu? The girl who wants to have her own restaurant one day, and possibly go to culinary art school, has pretty significant digestive problems that seem to be getting worse as of late (though I am thankful that up until this week, things seemed to be settling down....I guess it was just too boring for my body). It seems even cream of rice made with water and a pinch of sugar and cinnamon is too much for my disturbed stomach, it's quite pathetic and frustrating, considering how much I love food. It seems we actually have a love-hate relationship, but most of the time I tend to be in deep denial over the "hate" aspect of it.

Oh yes, I think my footprints are deeply embedded on the carpeted path leading from my bed to the lovely toilet room. And those fab all-night stomach stabbing-cramping sessions are back again, hopefully only for a short (but very unwelcomed) visit. I really do need this blog to vent, I don't want to mix what I love (i.e., cooking, poetry, and even music) with my not-so-happy bloggings, but, hey, I try to be realistic, I can't even stay unhappy for too long, it's "un-Sophie". I just wish I could divide things up that easily in real life...like, maybe I could convince my body to only get sick on days when it's too hot or even too rainy to do much else, and it would be quite wonderful if I could orchestrate my stomachaches around my work schedule, but life is holding the bulletin board of Sophie's activities, and my body is too darn weak to speak up and say NO, getting sick really is a waste of time, not to mention depressing, so lets focus on something more productive!

So even though there's still the medical bills to pay off from my past surgery, and college debt I can't forget about...at least I actually got my degree, and thank God I didn't have to sit around with a sick gallbladder, just waiting for my liver or pancreas to start malfunctioning. What else? At least I can still cook...and even if I can't eat it, I'm thankful it makes someone's day; Jose gets a kick out of trying something that came out of my at-home experiment lab, aka kitchen. And when I'm staring at the ceiling late at night, feeling like I'm the only one with gut-wrenching pain, I realize that I still have my entire life ahead of me. This isn't a fatal situation I'm in and God has already blessed me far more than I expected to be blessed at this point in my life. Who can forget this ultimate sustaining blessing--my sanity keeper--love. I have plenty of it, and even though my empty stomach might be craving a juicy steak which, upon its consumption, would definitely open the door for me to get a "thank you for being our #1 customer" call from a Charmin sales representative....I know my heart is full and quite satisfied.

So, yeah, I might feel like I'm the only 20 something year old with a 90 year old digestive system, but at least I know that what I have is meaningful and lasting. Sometimes I think I wouldn't have been able to figure it out on my own, all these obstacles have definitely opened my eyes. For instance, I don't know how many girls my age can say that their fiance has been there with them "in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad."

It seems marital vows are quite easy to recite for anyone wearing the fanciest dress/tuxedo they'll probably ever own, but it appears those vows lose their significance once the "special" occasion is over; they get hidden in the closet and start to yellow like the once white wedding dress. The only gown Jose has ever seen me in is a hospital gown, and as far as I'm concerned, it actually holds more symbolic meaning and significance to me than any wedding dress ever could. And how do I know I'm with the right person and that I do have a groovy kind of love, even if Phil Collins already said he had it first? Because Jose's already done far more for me than what the average husband ever has to do for his wife, and, also, he's not doing it just because he vowed to, though it is evident that in his heart he's just as dedicated as if he did.

Another blog?! Yep!

Alright, being that I have an obsession with cooking AND blogging, I figured it'd be a good idea for me to open up a food blog. It's still pretty small, I just fixed it up a few days ago. I didn't want this blog's content to get too "messy" with just too much information... So to keep things a little more on the organized side, from now on I'll be posting all my "foodie stuff" on the food blog, while this site stays dedicated to just words/stories/random personal experiences--all that kinda stuff. Alrighty then, for now happy blogging (you know that's what I'll be doing)!

sneaky snickerdoodles: even kids will love this lowfat recipe!

So today I baked some snickerdoodles before heading off to work, where they were then sampled by some fabulous gals with very refined taste buds; they were all under age 10 :). Of course, I didn't tell them they were low-fat, at their age, that isn't really a concern, unless they don't have a gallbladder like me! Anyway, they loved them...they even asked for more but I didn't want these sneaky snickerdoodles to spoil their appetite for dinner. Jose was even surprised that these classic but wonderful cookies could be made with such a small amount of butter, he calculated that they each had less than 1g of fat! Then we decided that the Food Network really needs to have a show centered around cooking healthy food that still tastes just as good or even better than the unhealthier versions. I do love me some Food Network, but I do get a little disappointed at how so many of the cooks/chefs on there feel the need to use a tub of butter to cook their desserts! If I wanted butter that bad, I would just eat the stick by itself and not even put the time into baking...and why put all that butter in a dessert if it's just going to leave you with regrets afterward? I swear to you, next to the chocolate chip ones I posted earlier, these cookies are some of the best and DO NOT TASTE LOWFAT AT ALL. I'm sure you'll have to try them in order to really understand what I'm talking about, so here's the recipe. They're super easy to make, and I bet you even have these ingredients in your kitchen already!

2 dozen delectable snickerdoodles with less than 1g of fat per cookie:
Yes, even Martha will find it hard to believe.

1 1/2 Cups white sugar
1/2 TBSP cinnamon
2 TBSP nonfat milk
2 TBSP softened/partially melted butter
2 eggs
2 1/3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

Cinnamon/Sugar Mix (guessing here--you decide what's good for you)
3 TBSP sugar
1 3/4 TBSP cinnamon

you know the unfancy drill of throwing it all into a bowl...then just roll up little 1 in. balls of dough and dip them into a cinnamon/sugar mix--place them on a cookie sheet and slightly flatten them out with a teaspoon and bake them at 400 for 10-11 minutes (they don't expand much, so you really just need about 3/4 of an in. between each cookie).

If anyone out there uses this recipe, tell me how you liked the cookies!

Goodbye, Bisquick!

I always wondered what, exactly, made up the Bisquick mix contents. The ingredients list was long and complicated, and I knew it couldn't possibly be THAT complex to make pancake mix...so I took the plunge and made up my own. Now, though I often downplay butter's greatness, I do think it's a great idea to use the stuff when making pancakes, either in the actual pancake mix or as a pancake topper. Speaking of pancake toppers, I made an apple topper. I love apples in baked goods, so I tried making the mix a little spicy and apple flavored, but I also wanted apples on top...so here's what I did to make these...


Apple Cinnamon Spice Pancakes
(this recipe makes about 8 medium-sized pancakes)
1 1/2 Cups flour
1/2 TSP baking soda
1/2 TSP salt
2 TBSP sugar
1 TBSP cinnamon
1 TBSP canola oil OR BUTTER, butter is better in this case!
1 Cup milk
1 egg
1 TSP apple pie spice

Mix all this stuff in a bowl, as usual. The mix might be a bit too light for some, but I like thin pancakes. If you want them heartier/thicker, just add 1/4 cup more flour. Cook the pancakes on a low setting, they burn easily! Also, when they're done cooking and still warm, add a tiny teaspoon to the top and let it melt for a better buttery taste. Oh yeah, I also love powdered sugar on pancakes, as if they aren't already sweet enough!

And this is what made up that...


Apple Topping
1 whole apple-- sliced (I used pink ladies because their tartness balances out the sweetness of the rest of the ingredients, but you can use fuji if you want something sweeter)
1 TBSP brown sugar
1/2 TBSP butter
2 TBSP apple sauce
1/3 cup apple juice

To cook the topping, bring all these ingredients to a boil in a sauce pan, then put on a medium setting for about 10 minutes, or until the apples are cooked to your liking--I cooked mine until they were soft. You might also want to add 1 TBSP more of water, if your sauce is thicker than you want it to be.

That's it, folks. Not only will these pancakes give your taste buds a nice morning wake-up call, their sauce will fill your house with a Christmasy-cinnamon smell, like naturally seasonal potpourri :).

THE best chocolate chip cookies & they're LOWFAT!

I've made so many chocolate chip cookies, always hoping that the next batch will come out just right. How do I like chocolate chip cookies? With just the right amount of chocolate chips, crispy edges and a chewy/soft center that doesn't taste raw! I found a pretty good recipe, but it was wayyy too buttery. I literally had butter/grease all over my fingers after munching on a few, so I knew I had to do something...and I did. I reduced the amount of butter by over 1/3 of a cup! I also added a bit more flour, a tiny bit of water to add that crunch, a little more brown sugar, along with a little less chocolate chips...oh yeah, and baking powder instead of soda.

Deceivingly Low-Fat Chocolate Chip Cookies
(I swear, they actually taste better without the extra butter!)

1 1/3 cup flour
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 TSP vanilla extract
1/2 TSP baking powder
1/2 TSP salt
2 TSP hot water
2 1/2 TBSP butter
1/3 cup chocolate chips

Mix all the ingredients together in a medium-sized bowl; if you use about 1 TBSP worth of cookie dough for each cookie, then bake them for about 11 minutes on 375, you'll get a good-sized baker's dozen...and happy taste buds!

I couldn't help myself, I'm learnin' so much

Catholic Quiz: What Kind of Catholic Are You?

You scored 59, on a scale of 0 to 100. Here's how to interpret your score:
0 - 25		You are a Centering Prayer (very progressive) Catholic.
26 - 50		You are an Ignatian Exercises (moderately progressive) Catholic.
51 - 75		You are a Divine Office (moderately traditional) Catholic.
76 - 100		You are a Daily Rosary (very traditional) Catholic.

Well, I couldn't help myself...one of my new jobs, as one of a few editors working for one of UTs professors, requires me to do a lot of research regarding religion; particularly the monotheistic ones, and I've been learning so much lately that I've become curious about my own claimed religion. I was raised Catholic, but my mother eventually swayed the Protestant way, and though I agree with some protestant beliefs, I've come to realize that I'm a little too progressive. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a traditionalist Catholic. In fact, I've never even prayed the rosary, nor do I feel that it's a necessary act. I think I know where Bono stands, and I pretty much agree with his beliefs. haha, sorry, that guy...he is my male version of Mother Teresa.

Anyway, thanks to a class I took on the reformation my last year of college, I learned a little about the good stuff that went down during the Second Vatican meetings, and how there were a few conservative Catholics who had their feathers ruffled because some of the newly introduced ideas seemed to stray too far from the familiar. I think it needed to happen, though, for many reasons. I can only name a few off the top of my head, and I don't want to go into too much detail (considering I had to do it for 4 hours straight earlier today--I'm working on a paper with the professor, he's lecturing at an interreligious dialogue conference, which should definitely be interesting). I've actually been a bit surprised by some of the stuff I've learned, like how one of the Vat II documents literally states that Muslims (okay, I'm getting out my notes, I want to make sure I quote this properly)......ok, what does it say Sophie? Umm...here it is. "...at the Second Vatican Council, the Catholic Church proclaimed its respect and esteem for Muslims and asserted that Islam was a genuine path of salvation." Wow, what a claim to make! Especially after declaring for so long that the Catholic Church was the one true church! That quote was taken from "Turkish Experience of Muslim Christian Dialogue: Past and Present" in case you want to read more about it; it's actually a really, really well-written, far from boring paper that does a good job of summing up the efforts made by some Christian, Jewish, and Muslim leaders who are trying to peacefully "find common ground," if you want to call it that.

I think I know why the quiz resulted in giving me a "moderately traditional" title, I am pretty conservative when it comes to abortion. Yeah, I pretty much hate it, to say the least. But I'm not at all for damning the people who've had them; actually, I'm not holy enough to point the finger, it's not like my name is God. Now that I remember, it would really bother me when the extremists would come around campus; I hated their dumb billboards. I couldn't even look at them they were so horribly gruesome, I can't even imagine how they would make someone feel who actually had an abortion. That is the wrong way to go about getting a message across, it even makes me cringe at the thought of calling them pro-lifers, it's more like pro-condemners! I personally feel abortion is detrimental to the person who receives it, and the "fetus" that dies, but I think those billboards are right up there too! I wish they'd invest their money in something more productive, like raising money for the expecting women who would make it a full-term pregnancy if their only reason for not taking that route was a monetary one...or educating girls on how to avoid getting themselves into that kind of a situation. I don't know why people just leave it up to the state. Sure, health is great, but kids do skip class...and while they're skipping they're probably doing the very thing they wouldn't be doing if some 'informative knowledge' was planted in their brain ahead of time. I know, I know it's not that simple...just here me out. Just so you understand, at 14, I was already helping my mom raise money for our city's crisis pregnancy center, so you know how passionate I am about this issue...that's why I went off on a tangent! They got me at a young age :)!

Anyway, religion! I think that's another issue we shouldn't be ignorant about, if just for the sake of our fellow man, most of the world follows one faith or another. How do you know what to believe or not believe if you don't know what there is to believe or not believe???? Hmmm...