Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. What's wrong with that, I'd like to know?

I love that song, it reminds me of when I was a kid and my mom used to put on the Paul McCartney tape...yes, cassette tape, I feel old saying that. C'est la vie! Anyhow, this has been a very wonderful Valentine's day. I've always been one to celebrate this "holiday", even as a single gal, I was always a fan. I love the decorations; then again, I love decorations period. I'm a fan of all the holidays, but Valentine's Day is my second favorite, next to Christmas, of course. Anyhow, after eating some lovely steaks with my lover, the Whole Foods kind (the steaks, not the lover!), I sat down for a little while to read. I wanted to use my free time, since there isn't much of it left...I'm not complaining, though, I'm actually happy to say this because I have a job! It's wonderful; I love being employed. Well, I don't actually start until Tuesday, but it still calls for a celebration. Job=security=happiness...well, that's not exactly how it goes, but you get it.

Anyhow, so I sat down to read. I've been wanting to read a book by Kierkegaard since one of my English professors from back in my undergrad days (ha! Like they were so long ago!) kept going on and on about what a cool guy he was. Well, he's ok, not as great as I thought he'd be, but there was something that caught my eye when I was browsing through the pages of one of his books. I just read a line or two, and then I started creating my own ideas. Anyway, he mentioned something regarding God and suffering, and how God allows us to suffer so that we can better see his love. I'm sure that sounds insane to some, but it does make some sense...and here's why (I'm sure I'm going to have trouble wording this, but that's what's great about words, you can get so much out of them. So, even if you get something different out of the original message I intended to communicate, it's not a lost cause.)

Ok, I think my preface has turned into a ramble so I'm going to start.

So, after reading what Mr. K from back in the day had to say about love and suffering, I started thinking about the relationship between the two, keeping in mind that I equate love with God. From what I know of love, it's a choice. I'm not the first to say it; I've heard it said many times. If love is a choice, doesn't that mean that there has to be an alternative, like hate? Obviously hate only exists in an imperfect world, right? But, from what I've just said, shouldn't it also hold true that love could only exist in an imperfect world too? Ok, after saying that, I'm sure many readers out there beg to differ. Go for it, I'd like to hear your side of the story. Hold on, though, I do think love can exist in a perfect world, but not love as we know it. There is another kind of love, God's love, which exists apart from our definitions of love. It doesn't have barriers, it is flawless, and it goes beyond a choice. It is indefinable, more so than what we know of ephemeral love. Sure we can say that when we love someone, we can't really explain how we feel, but we can always provide reasons as to why we love who we do. Right? Well, there's a love that doesn't need reason, it just exists. It's perfect and it's there in our reach. The catch is, we can't offer it to anyone, but we can easily accept this perfect love if we CHOOSE to. Though perfect love exists outside of choices, how we come to know perfect love is similar to how we understand imperfect love, because we are human. Having said this, I can now introduce the already-established concept that God is love. This is what I believe. If God is love, by moving toward him, we move closer to perfect love. We move closer to perfect love by giving it our all when it comes to human love. There's a verse from the Bible that comes to mind, "we love because he first loved us". Now I'm understanding that verse in a different way than I did before. Human love is an underdeveloped version of perfect love, God's love. We follow his footsteps, and even if we step outside of them sometimes, we're still moving forward; closer to God and the ability to fully embrace perfect love. Still, even though we may not be able to offer perfect love, since we are humans who obviously fail on a daily basis, we can still receive perfect love.

Human love is not the end; obviously there is more. Even if you don't believe in God, it's hard to admit that there couldn't be more, think about it. Why do we have this innate need to move forward and advance as humans? We want to progress; we want better medications, that requires growth. In just ten years, we'll be more knowledgeable. It's in our best interest to move forward, too. Think about it, where would we be without immunizations? Umm...I dunno about you, but I have a really bad case of asthma, so I'd be dead right now. You can even go so far as to say that we even try to better our ways of loving, why are there so many therapists? Obviously we don't want to repeat the mistakes of those who hurt us; we want functional families. It used to be okay for husbands to so-called "chastise" their wives if they "disobeyed" them, and that's far from the case today. These days abuse is completely wrong, in any shape or form. Ok, so all this goes to show that the human race has progressed, and is continuing to advance in various ways. We are all, as a general group, trying to create a better place for ourselves by reaching new goals, whether they be in the medical field or the food industry. One day, we'd like to reach a state of perfection, where disease is a thing of the past and death is not even a lingering memory. Similarly, we'd all like to experience perfect love. I doubt anyone could argue that, even the angriest person wants to be loved. Usually it seems the angriest people are the ones who are crying out for love the loudest. We're all reaching for something that exists in the future, and for me that final goal we're really aiming at is God, since that's how I define perfect love.

BUT. And there's always a but, even if there aren't big enough pants to cover it :)...as I was saying earlier, from what we know of human love, aside from God's love, it couldn't exist in a state of perfection. Our little minds can only comprehend the kind of love that requires choice. All we know is that if love is real, the person chooses to love you and that's what makes it so valuable. They might pick you out among a crowd of people, and yet you're the one who catches their eye; the one they're later walking down the aisle with after exchanging vows. Before I started thinking about this, I wanted to make the claim that love could only exist in a state of imperfection. I'm sure that sounds far from what you're used to hearing. From how I was understanding it, though, love required a choice...then I realized that perfect love is not limited, and even choices are limited...so these rules do not hold for perfect love. So...sure, PERFECT LOVE could exist in a PERFECT WORLD. I don't know how that world works, though. It's a world where there's something that transcends free will's necessity, and the need to make choices in order to feel fulfilled and appreciated as an individual. I guess I could even say that in a perfect world choices don't exist, but we humans would then jump to make the claim that that's not really a perfect world. But who are we to say what perfect is? I know I've felt perfect love, I've experienced God's love, but, again, it can't be explained. Also, on a daily basis we're moving forward, we're wanting that perfection, even if we don't exactly know what it is. To me, though, the reason why we even have this drive, this need to move forward and advance, is because we all have a longing for something perfect, something stable and inhuman, or who I know to be God.

Again, I'm sorry if I've jumped around from one thought to another without fully explaining myself. Really, this is like a mental mosaic...there are a ton of pieces that can fit together in many ways to make more than one picture.