Thinking outside the circle

Seriously, what's going on? Why is it that so many people are lacking substance these days? No sense of value, no idea of passion, all for the superficial, the pursuit of not-even ephemeral happiness; just pure mediocrity and selfishness.

Gossip obsessed conversations empty of any sentence that would leave anyone feeling uplifted, Cosmo magazine inspired lifestyles centered on superficial "beauty" and dysfunctional "relationships", not to mention consumerist-suburban-mall-shopper attitudes driven by a me-first mentality...these nasty things exist in any and every social circle, from outside church corridors to the dining halls of all-girl dormitories.

I've met a lot of people growing up, it's kind of expected being the stepchild of someone who was in the military. Everywhere I go, it's pretty much the same thing. Every now and then I'll meet someone who makes me grateful to call them a member of my same species, but other times, I carry on a "conversation" with some and, upon its conclusion, I seriously feel I have more in common with an animal! And I say it like that instead of the other way around because, seriously, I think animals have more dignity than some humans; even if they aren't ashamed to poop in public without a roll of Ultra Soft Charmin nearby. On that same note, sometimes I think there isn't enough toilet paper to clean up all the crap that figuratively comes out of the mouths of the mindless and emotionally dead. This isn't even a matter of intelligence, it's more along the lines of wisdom. You don't have to be a genius to understand what it means to lead a meaningful life that resembles something other than a processed, preservative-filled frozen TV dinner. This isn't even a criticism of certain interests or pastimes, those are just a reflection of what's there, or not there. There are more important matters that need to be considered in order to arrive at the source of the problem.

What makes you YOU? What sets you apart, is there anything? Have you ever even stopped to ask that question? Or are you far from thoughtful, not even close to understanding what's meaningful because you're consumed with worry over being accepted by whatever group you're a part of? Are you like a Barbie doll, a plastic product of pop culture; fake and fabricated from a disturbingly familiar but over-used mold? If you were flipped inside-out, would anyone find you beautiful? If you lost everything tangible, would there be any virtue left to keep you rich? Do you have any genuine peace, anything that holds onto you when you feel like letting go? Would God find your soul sincere? Even having to ask these questions is disappointing, because I know most would view them as hypothetical, with the possibility of being considered answerable only by those who are part of an intellectual, enlightened, or even religious crowd.

Despite our differences, whether they be religious, cultural, etc., there are a few desires our souls share. We all seek to be understood and loved; in finding acceptance we can better have both of those desires met. The problem is, we so often mistake a fraud for the real thing. Pretty soon, though, we become fraudulent too; we develop an unhealthy ability to deceive ourselves into thinking we've found something meaningful when we haven't. Then, when faced with questions that force us to examine who we are, whether a thoughtful moment alone or a stranger throws them at us, we defend our honor, even if there isn't much to defend. We say we're right so many times that, eventually, we come to believe our lies are true. That's how psychology works.

There are many social groups we can join that'll give us a generic sense of belonging, but very few of those groups have people that genuinely belong to themselves. Usually, one "type" dominates and the rest are forced to submit; they become part of the "collective" in fear of losing that place of belonging due to their differences (Yes, I used to watch Star Trek and I stole the term from them!). So they stifle their individuality and acquiesce, no longer caring about anything, really. They get so self-absorbed, since their primary focus rests on remaining a part of the group, being just like everyone else, that they don't even care about the individual members. And, of course, no one dares to ask the bigger questions, because answering them would require reflection, and asking them would require thinking outside of the box, or social circle in this case. In order to be reflective, though, you must have some idea of who you are...but when you lose yourself in adopting some other person's way of being, even if it goes completely against who you were before, you no longer have the freedom to do that. You may have found a pseudo sense of belonging, but you've lost your identity in the process, and if you don't even know who you are, how can you love yourself? And don't you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else? Now tell me, at that point, can you really call life meaningful?